Journal Entry: Becks overcomes fears

Another amazing moment as a mother. We were at the YMCA pool where they have water slides and in order to go on them you have to pass a swim test. Kids have to tred water 30 seconds and swim from one end of the pool to the other (25 yards).

Becks wanted to go on the slides so bad but he was afraid to take the test. He’s been wanting to pass the swim test for the past 2 summers.

After swimming for a few hours he found these red and green rubber bracelets you get for something—none of us knew what they meant. He spent the next 30 min crying and complaining that “someone wouldn’t go ask the life guard what they meant”. It took every ounce of patience in me to let him work out this problem as he was terrified to approach her and was shaking in fear.

He kept saying “I’m scared! I’m not brave!! I wish I was brave”. I proceeded to tell him that Brave was something that HE already was! I reminded him of all the things he’s done in his life to prove to himself that he is more brave than he is not. He was listening intently to me like I was telling him something he didn’t know. It truly is amazing how young and innocent they are and how much they needed to be reminded of how special and amazing they are.

“Why am I so scared?” He asked. I told him that this was a normal feeling. “You’ll always feel a little fear in doing something new, something outside of your comfort zone, and the only way you will ever overcome your fear is by facing it.” If you face it you’ll realize that it wasn’t as scary as you thought and you’ll gain confidence in your ability to do hard things.

I reminded him of the power of his mind—that the mind can either make or break him. I told him that he had to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. He asked me to remind him what to tell himself. “That you are brave, that you can do this!” I also reminded him that he couldn’t change his attitude when his countenance was sad, shoulders hunched over, and crying. “Put a smile on your face and see how that changes your attitude. You can’t be sad while you’re smiling.” He asked me, “why can’t you do it for me mom?” Because, I told him, what are you going to do in school when you have to ask your teacher a question? What are you going to do if I’m not around? “This is an important lesson you need to learn—it’s a lesson that will impact you for a lifetime.

He swam around a bit and mulled everything over for a good while, making sure he was ready to face his fear. It took him some time and some more reminders and encouragement and then he said “I’m ready!” He jumped out of the pool and walked up to her and asked “what are these red and green bands for?” 😁😁😁

After she answered his question his demeanor completely changed; he walked with his head held high and his confidence just a little stronger.


He then proceeded to tell me he wanted to go practice for the swim test. His first try he made it nearly to the end, only a 1/4 of the way left. He swam to the side of the pool and started crying. “I can’t do it!! My arms are too tired!!”

I told him to look at what he just did. “Look how far you swam bud!! You nearly made it to the end on your first try! You should be so proud of yourself!!“ I told him it was his choice if he wanted to keep trying. He pulled it together and said “let me just rest for a minute then I’ll do it again.” He practiced treding water for 30seconds; he did it after 2 times.

Before attempting the swim test again I reminded him of a couple things he could do to go faster—use both his arms, take deep breaths....and then I reminded him “you’re mind controls your arms. If you get tired tell your arms to keep going, to not give up! Tell yourself you can do this!”

Off he went and as he approached the place he stopped before (I could tell he was struggling and wanted to pull off to the side), I yelled “tell your arms your mind is in control, keep going, you’re not tired, you’ve got this!”

I could tell he was talking to himself and pushing through his fatigue and his negativity. I can’t tell you how proud I was to see him touch the end of the pool. And how thankful I was that the lifeguard came over and said “I was watching and if you want that to count as his swim test you can!” He was beaming from his right ear to his left!

The most incredible thing was seeing him jump out of the water put his swim test band on (get a fist pump from his brother) put his shoulders back and strut his little self around that pool like he owned it 😂😂. He went down the slide 10x like it was nothing. “That was easy,” he said. Bahaha. His countenance completely changed.

I sat at the edge of the pool and asked him “what do you learn today from those two lessons?” His reply was one of the best most rewarding gifts I’ve received as a mother: “to never give up. To remember that my mind is powerful and my mind controls my body. And I realize that if I never would have asked the lifeguard about those bracelets I never would have decided to take the swim test and then I never would have been able to go down the slides.” Amazing! Truly amazing that he made those connections on his own.

I am so extremely grateful I get to stay home with the boys and have these extremely important life lessons with them. I’m grateful for god and his tender mercies, inspiring me to be a little hard, to let go of control, to be a little extra patient so these boys can learn these incredible life lessons. I am beyond grateful for these boys and the things they teach me every single day!