Mommyhood Moments

These are the moments that remind me what my role and duty is as a Mom. Ever since we got back from Universal Studios Becks has been obsessed with Harry Potter. He wanted to start reading the books. I was a bit hesitant thinking he might be too young (he gets scared easily and he is still at the age where he doesn’t know the difference between make believe and reality). I got book one at the library and we started reading it each night. Around this time he started coming into our room in the middle of the night complaining about various things—being unable to sleep because of scary dreams. 

One night after reading the book he wanted to see what the characters looked like so I pulled up the actors pictures. He asked if he could see “the one that must not be named.” I asked him if he was sure because he was pretty creepy looking. He saw a glimpse of him when I pulled him up on my phone and he freaked out and said he didn’t want to see him. He sat for a moment on his bed and looked so confused. He said to me, “I don’t understand what I’m feeling right now? I want to look at it and then I don’t.” I was able to explain to him that part of him was curious and the other part of him knew it would scare him if he looked at it. I told him to CTR and listen to the voice that spoke truth to his heart. He paused for a moment to think about it and he said “I don’t think I should look at it Mom.” 

The next morning I had such an incredible teaching experience with him. I told him I felt we shouldn’t read Harry Potter anymore because I felt it was causing him nightmares. He got upset about it. I then told him about my own experience as a kid, watching shows that were too scary and how they affected me still to this day. I also explained that these books were written for older kids, and that maybe when he was older he could revisit them. He was still struggling to understand. I explained to him that there were hundreds of interesting books that were suitable for his age and how he’d miss out on all of those books if he jumped ahead and read the ones that will be appropriate when he is older. He started to get it but asked “why didn’t they make the books for my age?” I told him it was the same as toys—different toys are made to enjoy at different ages. 

I then told him that I believed he would make the right decision and to think about what he wanted to do—to mull it over today and we’d talk about it later tonight. He said “I don’t know what to do!!!” I then told him that he could pray to God about it and that he’d speak to him and tell him what to do. I reminded him that God knew him better than I did. “No he doesn’t,” he said, you’re my mom, you know me best! “Why yes he does,” I replied. “You lived with him thousands of years before you lived with me. Plus he sees everything. He not only sees what you do all day everyday, while I can’t, but he can see the future. He can see what would happen if you read the book now verses if you waited.” I also reminded him that he was perfect and that he had all of the answers. I reminded him of how imperfect I was—how when he made mistakes I some times got upset or yelled at him because I couldn’t see the situation perfectly. “God would never do that, he loves you perfectly. He is your Father. He wants to help you and he knows all of the right answers.” “Maybe this book is okay for you to read now; maybe it won’t affect you negatively,” I said, “I don’t know that, but God will know.” I then encouraged him to find a quiet moment today to go pray to God and ask him and then to take a moment to listen to His answer. 

I said goodbye and I started loading the car to leave for boxing. 7 min later he came running outside with a huge grin on his face and tears in his eyes. He said “Mom! I went in the office and I prayed to God. I asked him Mom and he answered me!!!!” I asked him what God told him; he replied, “I know I shouldn’t read the book Mom, He told me!” Tears welled up as he hugged me tight. 

I realized in that moment that we truly are their teacher in this life; they need so much guidance at this age. However, our greatest job is to point them to the PERFECT teacher—one who knows them and loves them more than anyone: God. 

How grateful I was for God speaking through me to his son. It is my nature, especially when I am in a rush to get somewhere, to take control; to tell my kids how it’s going to go down, but God used me as his mouthpiece to remind his child to turn to Him for anything. I hope that I can continue to do this throughout both their lives. They gain so much confidence and trust in themselves—that they can make the right decisions—their testimonies grow and their relationship to God, although they can’t physically see it, becomes REAL. 

Beckahm's First Talk in Church

Beckahm was assigned to give his first talk in primary and it was only his second week since advancing to Sunbeams.  The theme was "Jesus is the Son of God." The week prior I had printed pictures and came up with a simple talk he could give about Jesus.  I was so proud of him when I told him we were going to practice every day.  Literally after the first time I ran through the talk with him he had it memorized—such a smart kid.  We encouraged him and got him excited about it all week long; he knew it by heart and was so excited for the big day.  Beckahm does so much better in life situations when you explain things in advance so we got to church a bit early on Sunday and he practiced standing at the podium, in the primary room and he did his talk so well.  When it came time for primary Mike and I stood in the back of the room and watched while they did opening exercises....it was so precious to watch how quiet, reverent and obedient he was.  As it was nearing time for him to give his talk he would turn around and look at us, giving us a HUGE grin, and a thumbs up—so adorable.  I helped him up on the stand and the minute he got up there he became a bit scared and he asked me to help him. He would whisper the talk in my ear and then I would say it into the microphone.  I was seriously so proud of him; he was so brave and did such an amazing job!

As Mike and I were walking around the building getting some church stuff done I had three different people come up to me and tell me things about Beckahm that they thought were amazing and loved.  The husband of his Sunbeam teacher approached me and said "I just have to tell you what a stud Beckahm is; I had to go into Sunbeams last week to help my wife because two of the girls were misbehaving and Beckahm was being so good; he was acting to reverent and listening and being such a good example and leader. He is seriously such a cool kid!"

Then the lady that plays the piano came out of the primary room and said "that Beckahm is amazing! He is on a roll in there! They keep asking questions and he just raises his hand and says 'I can do that' to everything they ask! What a confident little boy he is!" One of the teachers came out and patted Mike and I on the back and said "whatever you are doing with that child is truly spectacular; that Beckahm is just so confident and believes he can do anything, which is something you don't see a lot in children today.  We asked who in the room could build a house, climb a tree. . . and every question he said "I can do that!" As she told me this tear filled my eyes and I felt such pride swell inside my heart.  I told her how much this meant to hear because this was one of the hardest struggles for Beckahm since he was little, little: he would always say "I can't do it!" And he would give up on whatever he felt he couldn't do: going down the stairs, riding a bike, getting dressed, etc." And now look, here is is today, after we coached him time and again, pushed him, and told him "I can't do it" is not something we say in our home," standing confident in Primary giving a talk, reciting his Articles of Faith, and telling the class that he can do things! I can't explain how proud I am of this little boy.  There is truly nothing that brings me greater joy than seeing your children succeed in life!